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Commentary From The Edge: Week 7
Kevin Ratterree
October 15, 2013
 

My first inclination upon hearing Bob Costas’ anti-Redskins rant on Sunday Night football, was to make wise with some cracks about what a sanctimonious elfish windbag he is, and be done with it. But that would be mean-spirited, as well as redundant. Costas is just the latest in a long line of talking heads to take up the imaginary cause of the offensive team name that offends nobody. You people are draining me. 

That’s right, I said “you people.” What of it?

Who is offended by this term “Redskin?” Well, as a middle-aged man I have only ever really known the term as the nickname for the Washington professional football team. I don’t recall in my lifetime hearing the term used in any other fashion.

I don’t recall sitting around watching All In the Family with the fam’ as a kid, hearing Archie Bunker berate redskins. It wasn’t a slur thrown around the playground. If I ever heard the phrase used on Gunsmoke or an old western movie I don’t recall it.

For better or worse, the name “Redskins” is engrained in the lexicon as the name of a football team. And that is all. Nothing more. Redskins has no other meaning to me, nor to the vast majority of American society.

At least, it didn’t until the cattle call of national media types alarmed us to this great injustice they had somehow let lay sleeping lo‘ these many decades. God bless them. Where would the rest of us ignorant types ever: a) find out what a truly derogatory term it was ions ago, and b) be made to feel the necessary guilt to force us to demand change.
 
It is positively comical. Every person that bangs their drum on this, admits that the overwhelming sentiment among Native Americans is that the name does not bother them. But these do-gooders are smart enough to know that just because you are too ignorant to realize you should be offended, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be protected from what you don’t realize is hurting you.

There are Native American schools with Redskins as their team name. The only folks with their loin clothes in a bunch over this are the attention whoring media bullies whining about it.
 
And from a personal standpoint, I pay for the sins of the white man every time I go to the casino and double down on a max bet, only to be scalped by a 5 card dealer draw to 21.

Okay, some of you probably just found that “scalped” reference to be in extremely poor taste. But check yourself. You have used the term “scalper” in your life. Probably never gave a thought to what an insensitive horrible human being you were. You filthy racist you. You should all be ashamed.

I think Costas is a fine broadcaster. Probably a decent enough fellow. Except that he loves himself more than a 14 year old boy that just discovered that his doo-hicky is multi-purpose.
 
I heard him calling a baseball game broadcast last week, and he was far more interested in cramming his prepared material down our throats than calling the game. The game was secondary. A mere back-drop for the Bob Costas show. Costas was going to get his script in come hell or high water. I tuned in to watch a game. Costas thought I tuned in to listen to him recite his homework. Very insensitive that was. It made me feel uncomfortable and frankly, kind of oppressed.

The media is screaming, but they are the only ones that give a damn. Please desist. Peter King, go get yourself a couple of triple cheeseburgers, Costas, rub one out and tell yourself you are pretty, go over to Mohegen Sun and drop a few bills. That’s what the rest of us do when we suffer from imaginary guilt.

I suppose if these self-righteous twits somehow manage to oppress Daniel Snyder into submission and he changes the name of the team, I will be first in line to start a campaign to change the name of the “Fighting Irish.” I am partially of Irish heritage and I’m pretty sure that term might insinuate my people have violent tendencies is something that should disturb me deeply.

Hey, why aren’t Peter King and Bob Costas looking out for my rights? I bet a lot of my Irish brothers and sisters would be real pissed about that Fighting Irish thing if Donut King and Bob Cause’tus would only lecture them why they should be.

The whole thing just makes me want to get drunk and punch somebody in the face.

But seriously. According to a National Health Care for the Homeless Council report, Native Americans have disproportionate representation among numerous high-need groups, including the homeless. That is a real problem. With real repercussions. You don’t have to look hard to find one in this country. I mean, if you are looking to make meaningful changes that are substantial to society, rather than just clamoring for attention and self-glorification through self gratification.
 
I had a faux pas in last week’s column. I not only gloated about my team, I jokingly predicted it’s impending demise. So I wonder which of my studs will suffer a season ending injury next week? That was the question. The answer was Julio Jones. And it didn’t even take until next week. It had already happened, and we just didn’t know it yet. Me and Julio down by the graveyard.

Then Jimmy Graham got injured and shut out against the Patriots, and I started Sean McGrath at flex who duplicated Graham’s goose-egg. I think you can guess how my fantasy weekend went. I found the cure for happiness.

A shred of hope was provided by the KC defense, Andre Ellington, and Keenan Allen. Three critical free agent acquisitions I made a few weeks ago, kept my team from plunging off a cliff. I “overpaid” for every one of them at the time, but they have literally saved my season. So far. Man, what a struggle this season has been. Just brutal. Disaster around every corner. Much like the NBC studios.

Brutal also describes some of the penalties called in Sunday’s games. That call against the Saints corner for making a tackle with his shoulder made me seriously question how much longer I will be an NFL fan. If penalties are going to be routinely levied for hits like that (i.e. a perfect football tackle with absolutely no intent to cause harm) there is really no point in calling it football anymore, The game is compromised. I can probably find more productive ways to spend my Sundays. Seriously, that call was as much of a joke as NBC‘s halftime show, and left me just as nauseated.
 
The NFL only appears bullet-proof. If you turn it into soccer, only sensitive types like Bob Costas will still like it. I’m drawing my line in the sand. Enough is enough with Puta-ball.

That commercial on TV with the giant baby’s is really kind of creepy and disturbing. Not as creepy and disturbing as Bob Costas’ surgically altered face on HD television, but creepy and disturbing all the same.
   
And just imagine changing that diaper. Whew. That is one big pile of Costas right there. Okay, that one was probably over the line, but you have to admit he forced my hand. I mean, I wasted a whole column on this foolishness, I figure I’m going to get my money’s worth. Which coincidentally is more than Costas can say about his Botox and facelifts. Ka- pow!

Misery Index

10) Raiders:  Okay, so Terrelle Pryor didn’t escape Arrowhead unscathed. But who will? The good news is despite his rough day, Pryor appears to finally give this team hope. Hope that may only be realized once Manning retires and the Chiefs young defense grows old, say 7-8 years tops, but hope all the same.

9) Bills:   Let this soak in. At my draft this year, I thought it would be a good idea to draft not one, but two Bills receivers. Not a part of the Bills game-plan whatsoever. Thanks for coming. Oh yeah. Good luck with Leonard Hankerson off the waiver wire you Bills hoarding moron! Sonofabitch!!!!

8) Steelers:  This might not be as bad as it seems. You just beat a team we thought would suck a lot worse than you. So order is restored there. Todd Haley didn’t call the game like Roethlisberger and the receivers were all rookies. The coach banned all recreational games in the locker-room to help his guys focus. You are only 3 games behind the choke artist known as the Bengals. And Haley hasn’t accused the team of tapping his phone, or being in on the Kennedy conspiracy or anything. I think we might be good here.
 
7) Texans:  It seems to me that if Bob Costas wanted to make a pertinent commentary on Sunday night, the Texans bloodthirsty home crowd cheering an injury to their starting quarterback would have been a nice choice. This is just one example of the kind of thing that should be pontificated upon during halftime of a football game. Sometimes we all lose focus and perspective. Apparently it is commonplace at Reliant Stadium and NBC studios.

6) Vikings:  Here is another kick in the face. I drafted Kyle Rudolph in the 8th round, after the TE position had been pillaged within an inch of its life. Started him the first few weeks, soon realized that was bad and benched him. Last week I finally broke down and faced the reality that he must be dropped. Matt Cassel. Still sticking it to me all these years later. Screw you Matt. Screw you Kyle. And screw you Panthers. You think you did something? No. I created this cosmic shift with my crappy little fantasy team. How do I do it? I don’t know. But it is like a magic trick that works every freaking time.
 
5) Falcons:  Man, that was a shorter window than those quarter peep shows they used to have in Times Square. I mean, so I have heard.

4) Redskins:  What a sick, twisted world we live in, when I am compelled to rush to Dan Snyder’s side, and shield him from the slings and arrows (so to speak) of this unseemly media posse. Don’t worry Dan. I’ve got your back. You just keep trying to figure out how to get close to sniffing a championship sometime before Costas decides it might be more realistic to go with a gray toupee.

3) Jaguars: Well aren’t you a plucky bunch. Beat that 28 point spread all to hell. You also helped us discover just how spoiled the Broncos “faithful” have already become. The Broncos left the field at halftime to a chorus of boos when they could only muster a 14-12 lead. Well, either they are spoiled, or that whole “legalization” thing is having a negative effect on mathematical skills in the area.

2)  Buccaneers:  During a season ticket holder meeting, Coach Schiano referred to the pre-Schiano Buccaneers as a “laughing stock.” So, is pointing out how much worse things have gotten really a selling point? Much like your team on Sundays, I am confused. And now you have the Backstreet Boys on your ass. Never saw the Backstreet Boys on the other guy's ass. And his team was a laughing stock. Just saying…

1) Giants: In his rookie season of 2004 Eli took over at mid-season for Kurt Warner. He threw 6 TD’s against 9 interceptions en route to a 1-6 record as a starter. Giants’ fans were convinced he “wasn’t right” and wanted to run him out of town. And now we fondly refer to those as the good old days. I’m not altogether sure, but it is possible Bob Costas may be responsible for turning Eli into Ryan Leaf. Not sure what kind of elfin’ magic was at play but I’m going to look into it this week.


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