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Commentary from the Edge: Week 10
Kevin Ratterree
November 8, 2011

My dynasty league is not particularly active in terms of trading. It seems like everybody loves “their guys” and don’t want “your guys.” There are trades, but few “blockbusters.” And trades are up this year, but it’s not exactly the NYSE. So I was kind of surprised last week when I received an offer from one of the better and deeper teams in the league. This owner wanted to trade me his Victor Cruz for my Shonn Greene. Well, that was an interesting offer, but Shonn Greene for all his less than eye popping stats was anchoring my RB2 spot behind Darren Sproles. After those two I have projects and back-ups. Basically a vast wasteland with the loss of Earnest Graham.

But, I had already been thinking I was about ready to admit failure with the Shonn Greene experiment. I suspected as did others that McKnight and the rest of the RB roster might start moving in on what few points Greene has been getting. So if this league-mate wanted Greene I was ready to move him for the right price.

I countered Greene /Caddy Williams for Cedric Benson and Tolbert. Hey, it was worth a shot! I like to set the bar high.

He came back with Cedric Benson and Victor Cruz for Shonn Greene.

So, I’m sitting there thinking, let’s see here. I’m trying to win a championship. I can trade one slug at running back for another slug at running back, and get back Victor Cruz as a bonus? Thus erasing my mistake of dropping him for this year’s rookie draft? Hmm.

Yeah, Shonn Greene is a lot younger than Cedric Benson, but he is going nowhere in PPR format. I can touch his ceiling while Tebowing. Okay, give me Benson. I can win a championship with him as easily as I could have with Greene. Trade done. Thank you very much. And with that I strengthened an already formidable WR crew. Wallace/V. Jackson/Julio Jones/ Lance Moore.

I was just standing around minding my own business one day….

It just amazes me how my roster has turned in the dynasty league over the last year. After a next to last place embarrassment of a season, I have only 4 players left from the roster at the end of 2010. And only Jimmy Graham and Matt Schaub remain from the beginning of the 2010 season. And I’m 4th overall in the league. Now that was a quick rebuild. Very satisfying.

Oh, and Benson got me 7.9 points while Greene netted his proud new owner 7.6 points.  Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'.

So, anyway I had to make a roster cut after the trade because I was now at 21. I could cut and slash receivers now stacked 4-5 deep with legitimate starters. Off went Davone Bess (again), and while I was at it I cut Obamanu and added the Eagles Dion Lewis as yet another RB project. For the moment, I can afford to roster him as a pre-emptive stash. But I will undoubtedly drop him just before he hits. It’s just what I do. See Victor Cruz. Hopefully someone will trade him back to me once he is successful.

My trading partner was one short as a result of the trade and he had a hankerin’ for some Hankerson.

There are some really good owners in my dynasty league but we can only horde so many good players. It amazes me that some of the guys in my league who are out of it aren’t ditching dead-weight and digging deep with prospects like that. Trade deadlines will start arriving in some leagues as early as this week I would imagine, so you guys in the dumpster should trade all your good players to guys in contention like me. We sometimes get irrational when we think our playoffs lives are in danger.

The guy that traded me was matched up against one of the other top teams this week, and I suspect he thought Greene was going to go for 200 yards and a couple Tds against the Bills, thus assuring him a critical leg up in the seeding. Oops. Two point loss.

Welcome to the wonderful world of Shonn Greene ownership my friend. Now Greene can spend some time disappointing his 3rd owner in this league.

I won’t be disappointed with Cedric Benson. He will he what he has been, but surely the odds favor him getting more cheap TDs as the season goes on. But like I said, anything he gives me is a bonus. I just need him to get his 20 carries. Until the playoffs, when my dead roster spot will likely doom me barring any bench breakouts. But that is another day, and a much more bitter column.

So anyway, what of this Victor Cruz? Should we take him seriously? Did I just trade for a mirage? Was I the “buy high” sucker in this deal? I don’t think so. I thought enough of this guy to roster him over the summer even though he ended on IR last year. And I did draft him and drop him in that legendary FFPC gaffe this year. I seem to have a problem with patience. AND I’M GETTING SICK OF THAT CRAP REALLY QUICK!!!! I mean, yeah, that decision alone might have cost me a 2K league prize. Mistakes are expensive. And I spend that money like a drunk newbie in a titty bar, I do.

But anyway. The fantasy gods have given me a second opportunity and Cruz is back in his rightful place on my dynasty roster. And that’s the league that really matters. That’s my baby. I thunk up the idear, only fittin’ I orta have ‘im, aint’ it? Oh thank you Tebow. Praise Tebow. It’s gotta be Tebow, it’s the only explanation. He truly has changed my life. I did not bet against him this week against those evil Raiders, and I was blessed with an ounce of mercy, so let that be a lesson to all of us.

The first time I laid eyes on Cruz, he reminded me of a young Steve Smith (Car). I think he has that kind of potential now that a path has been paved for this opportunity. The other Steve Smith racked up a ton of receptions in Cruz’ new role. He presumably has a stable QB for the next 3-4 years. Why someone would cast him aside in a dynasty trade like that at this point is beyond me …. oh yeah …..Tebow. Never mind.

Yes, even my redraft teams, much lamented in this column finally stepped up and performed up to potential with the uncharacteristic Rivers Gates Vjax points onslaught. I still have a longshot chance of making the 4 team playoffs, but it would take two killer weeks and some help from the leaders, so really my teams are merely mocking me at this point. That’s what it has come down to.

But, that big week kept me just close enough to keep paying attention. My most likely miracle team is a dreadful 3-6, but now within 67 points of taking the final playoff spot on total points. Kind of like the baseball Cardinals when they were 10.5 out. Just miracle range with 2 weeks left. Maybe this week will be the week nobody scores any points but me. Right? No problem. And then there’s always the toilet bowl. Build that momentum and go into the toilet strong, like a big turd should! Plop!

Still, despite the long odds I must admit I am salivating over even the prospect of being a 5-6 team and wrecking the league playoffs.  That would probably be my proudest moment.

Are you all still putting forth your best lineup every week despite where you may be in the standings? Are you upholding the integrity of your league? If you aren’t, we can’t be friends. Be kind to your league-mates. Don’t take your ball and go home. Don’t curl up in the fetal position. It only makes the rest of us want to severely beat you.

How about that Giants win and subsequent Superbowl level celebration in the locker-room? And did you hear what Coughlin said when he referred to being 9 point underdogs? I thought coaches didn‘t concern themselves with dirty little things like spreads. Yeah right. Only when it serves their purposes do they refer to the dreaded gambling aspect of the NFL.

But aside from that, the celebration was just a tad over the top. I mean, yeah it was a great road win, but the Patriots aren’t the Patriots you beat in the Superbowl.
No reason to throw the coach around like rag-doll and break the old fart's hip over the deal.

Bonehead play of the week: I could tell you the tragic tale of how I started my newly acquired Victor Cruz at the expense of Julio Jones, but I was the high scorer in the league this week regardless, so I get a pass on that one. Hey, you buy a new jacket, you want to wear it even if it isn’t that cold outside. HOWEVER I do not get a pass for pussing out on my thought of starting Reggie Bush over BGE in that very re-draft league I am desperately clinging to hope in. Those 17 points would have put me only 50 points out of a playoff spot. Ouch. I needed a hail Mary and I threw a check-down. So capable of brilliance yet so drawn to disaster. Bonehead!

Misery Index

10a) Eagles: Guess what? After watching the Cowboys struggle to put away the Seahags, I was thinking that impressive win over them wasn’t so impressive after all. And the loss to the Bears at home on Monday night football confirmed your loser status. This team is not over the hump. They are however primed to be humped by any half-ass decent team that comes along.

10) Browns: Hillis came back to practice late last week, took a good look at how bad the offensive line still is, and the old hammy acted right up again.

9) Cardinals: So you came out on top of the battle between the worst of the west. If NFL teams were women, you’d be the first fat, ugly, drunk, STD infested skank we’d hit on at closing time. If we were really, really drunk and we had casts on both our hands. Congrats!

8) Panthers: If these guys don’t man up pretty soon, maybe we should start calling them the pink panthers. Okay that was pretty lame. But not as lame as Rivera blaming his coaching inexperience as the cause for his team getting so many bad calls from refs. Ron, not sure if you have been paying attention, but referees suck no matter who is wearing the headset on the sideline. Bring it down a notch and teach your team some discipline. Or the rules. Win some games. Or you could just keep telling the team it‘s not their fault. That’s what a young team really needs. Coddling and excuses.

7) Redskins: I remember when I was a kid, I ordered Sea Monkeys from the back of a comic book. I was so disappointed when they arrived, and mom told me that what I had there were actually brine. They weren’t adorable. And they weren’t monkeys at all. They were fish food. That was the first time I experienced buyers remorse. I don’t know if Danny Snyder ever bought Sea Monkeys, but he did buy Skeletor and Son of Skeletor as saviors for his franchise. I wonder if he will flush them down the toilet like I did those Sea Monkeys, once he figures out they weren‘t as advertised.

6) Vikings: The Vikings have been in the league since 1960, and have never won a championship. Yet the fans there are ready to run elected officials out of town if they don’t come up with funding for a new stadium, ensuring the team remains in Minnesota. Just imagine how dedicated these fans would be if the team didn’t suck most of the time. Or if there was anything else to do in Minnesota besides go to a mall.

5) Jaguars: Do they import starving Ethiopians to scalp tickets or is that just what happens when one takes on that profession in Jacksonville?

4) Seahawks: You guys gave up a golden opportunity. Jerra’s Palace was like a mausoleum. You lulled the Cowboys and their crowd to sleep with your “ether-ball.” The crowd was busy knitting or watching the dancers, and the Cowboys simply refused to put you away. But you didn’t want it. I’m proud of you guys, and I don’t even care that you cost me a potential windfall by covering the spread by 1 point. Hey, wait a minute. Yes I do. Screw you guys! No wait a minute, screw the Cowboys. Ah hell screw both of you.

3) Dolphins: Okay, so Luck is out. No panic. There are other otherwise quality quarterbacks you can hand a death sentence by plastering a fish upside their head. It’s cool.

2) Rams: You lost to the Cardinals? On an overtime kick return. Really? You are the uglier friend of the fat drunk STD infested skank, who your buddy cuts his arm off in the morning to get away from.

1) Colts: You know what occurred to me? I wonder if Payton is standing on the sidelines wondering how it took so long to wreck his neck carrying these losers all these years. And I have to wonder if is secretly wondering what he could accomplish if the team does draft Luck, and trades him to a team that doesn’t need him to part the red sea to win a game. I just wonder.

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