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Tunnel Vision - Week 7
By David M. Dorey
October 13, 2003
 
Sunday Salutes
Quarterbacks Yards TD
Steve McNair 421 3
Trent Green 400 3
David Carr 371 2
Running Backs Yards TD
William Green 143 1
Ahman Green 190 2
Priest Holmes 140 1
Wide Receivers Catch TD
Derrick Mason 177 3
Corey Bradford 127 1
Marvin Harrison 119 0.
Tight Ends Catch TD
Tony Gonzalez 121 1
Jeremy Shockey 80 0
Freddie Jones 60 1
Placekickers XP FG
Matt Stover 4 2
Doug Brien 3 3
Billy Cundiff 3 2
Defense/Special Teams TDs Sacks TOs
Baltimore 2 2 4
Miami 1 4 5
Tampa Bay 1 6 3

Bumps, Bruises and Bow-outs

Thumbs up for the continued short list each week.

Ken Dilger (TB) - Sprained foot
Trung Canidate (WAS) - Leg injury
Brian Westbrook (PHI) - Bruised hip
Marty Booker (CHI) - Sprained ankle
Stephen Davis (CAR) - Injured forearm

They must be pure butta

Or at least their fingers are.

The most important thing a player can do with the ball is to hold on to it. Bringing it down the field is just a preference and bringing it to the endzone is a bonus. Since the quarterbacks are standing still with the ball ready to throw while the defenses are trying to flatten them, it is understandable that there are three or four fumbles lost by them each Sunday. Yesterday was a little high with six by all quarterbacks, but in the previous three weeks they had only lost the ball three times a week on average.

The wideouts were not a problem yesterday. Not one of them lost the ball for the first time this season.

The tight ends were not a problem yesterday. Not one of them lost the ball for the third time this season.

Hello running backs. Seems yesterday was the dribbling drill in the NFL as the rushers had their worst weekend of the season by losing the ball eleven times yesterday. That was one each for ten players plus "Little Ricky" Williams who lost two of them.

In the Seattle game, Garrison Hearst fumbled with only 1:55 left in the game on first and ten from their SF 43-yard line. The Seahawks ran the clock out to win by one point.

In the Chiefs game, Ahman Green fumbled on first and ten from midfield in overtime and on the next play, Trent Green threw the winning touchdown to beat the Packers.

Imagine what some good rain and snow can do in a month or two...

He's not just fast, why he is... he is... Randall Williams fast!

The Eagles failed in their bid to spark a quick advantage in the Cowboys game when they opened the game with an onsides kick. It proved to be a miscalculation as the Eagles cannot by rule touch the ball in the first ten yards though the Cowboys can. In fact, Randall Williams not only caught the ball but immediately sprinted downfield for a 37 yard kick return touchdown.

According to the game clock, it only took three seconds for him reach the endzone making it the fastest score in the history of the NFL. You average a TD every three seconds in a game and you are looking at roughly 1200 touchdowns in a game. Even the old Rams could not do that.

The interesting fact is that he covered 37 yards in only three seconds. He even lost some fraction of time being up in the air as he caught the ball. It is well recorded that any rookie that can log a sub 4.3/40 at the combine will make over half the NFL scouts wet their pants. Covering 37 yards in three seconds works out to about 25 MPH or roughly faster than any human wearing pads and a helmet has ever ran.

Parcells not only has them exceeding expectations, he evidently has them exceeding the laws of nature and that is a very hard combo to beat.

Trying to decrease my Monday emails

Jay Fiedler threw a three yard pass to Obafemi Ayanbadejo who then fumbled it. The ball was immediately picked up by the alert Randy McMichael who then ran it the next two yards into the endzone for a touchdown. After the confusion over the McCardell touchdown last week, I thought I should give the official version that can be then translated into your league scoring.

O. Ayanbadejo (offense) catches the ball (receiver) and advances it (offensive move) but then fumbles it (stupid move) at which time the ball is considered "abandoned by willful neglect" and is picked up by Randy McMichael (now becomes a member of the Green Party) who stumbles NORTH into a different colored portion of the field and earns the name "Dances With Jaguars" with a touchdown credited to the officiating staff (linesman) and Jay Fiedler has his total passing yardage REDUCED by three yards since he should have know better than throw it to Ayanbadejo (waiver wire) who was eating buttered popcorn prior to the play.

If you started McMichael in your fantasy baseball league, you get credit for a base on balls.

And then there were three

After six weeks of the season, there are still three undefeated teams - Kansas City, Minnesota and Carolina.

Of the eight current division leaders, only two (Indianapolis and Miami) had winning seasons last season. The other six division leaders (Baltimore, Kansas City, Dallas, Minnesota, Carolina and Seattle) combined for a winning percentage of .416 and now they combine for a win margin of .870. After six weeks, those six teams only have four losses between them.

Drama 101 - Somebody has to laugh, somebody has to cry

Comedy Lineup Yards TDs Tragedy Lineup Yards TDs
QB Vinny Testaverde 130 3 QB Tom Brady 112 0
RB De'Shaun Foster 139 0 RB Stacey Mack 19 0
RB Najeh Davenport 43 1 RB Clinton Portis 73 0
WR Corey Bradford 127 1 WR Ashley Lelie 5 0
WR Johnnie Morton 109 1 WR Terrell Owens 36 0
WR Steve Smith 103 1 WR Chris Chambers 17 0
PK Matt Stover 4 FG, 2 XP PK Sebastian Janikowski

1 XP

Huddle Fantasy Points = 111

Huddle Fantasy Points = 18

I could swear I scored more last year

You probably did but so did everyone else.

2003
Rush
Yards
Rush
TD
Pass
Yards
Pass
TD
FF
Pts
FF
Pts
Pass
Yards
Pass
TD
Rush
Yards
Rush
TD
2002
McNair, S
51
2
1601
11
130
144
2016
14
19
0
Bledsoe,D
Manning, P
4
0
1593
12
116
139
1280
11
241
3
McNabb,D
Ramsey, P
59
1
1518
7
108
133
1749
14
36
0
Brady,T
Garcia, J
146
3
1117
6
106
130
1484
15
111
0
Green,T
Johnson, B
6
0
1355
12
104
127
1687
11
46
1
Gannon,R
Green, T
35
0
1356
9
98
125
1617
14
25
0
Favre,B
Favre, B
2
0
1261
11
96
124
1391
13
96
1
Brooks,A
Carr, D
44
2
1251
5
93
124
1274
7
154
4
Culpepper,D
Bledsoe, D
9
1
1351
5
89
118
1471
9
118
1
McNair,S
Blake, J
50
1
1147
7
89
117
1511
10
59
1
Griese,B

At this point last season we were just coming off a torrid period of passing and rushing quarterbacks like Vick were starting to get into gear.

2003
Total
Yards
Total
TDs
FF
Pts
FF
Pts
Total
Yards
Total
TDs
2002
Green, A
866
9
140
162
962
11
Holmes,P
Holmes, P
821
8
130
121
855
6
Tomlinson,L
Lewis, J
797
5
109
121
791
7
Williams,R
Taylor, F
697
3
87
114
660
8
Henry,T
Williams, R
574
5
87
105
692
6
Garner,C
Davis, S
693
3
87
102
725
5
McAllister,D
McAllister, D
716
2
83
99
699
5
Faulk,M
Portis, C
623
3
80
97
552
7
Alexander,S
Henry, T
345
7
76
97
610
6
Smith,L
Tomlinson, L
616
2
73
83
479
6
George,E

It appears that the runningbacks are hanging in with overall yardage, but are losing out with actually scoring touchdowns.

Sunday's Couch Commentary

MIA 24, JAX 10 The Jaguars fall prey to the Dolphins whose best receiver was Obafemi Ayanbadejo who is not even a receiver and had not played yet this season. The lone Jacksonville touchdown came on an 8-yard run by Byron Leftwich who never runs and Miami had scores by Sam Madison and Randy McMichael with a fumble recovery. Who says projecting performances is hard?
CAR 23, IND 20 OT If the Colts can beat the Bucs using the other Ricky Williams, then losing to DeShaun Foster only completes the circle. Once the game entered overtime, Colts players were calling their agents to renegotiate their contracts to be paid at an hourly rate. The amazing thing is that the Panthers are undefeated and Delhomme's 181 yards passing is his season's best.
OAK 7, CLE 13 If Oakland was cast in the movie "Old Yeller", this is about the part where the father gives young Travis a rifle and tells him "he's been a good ole' dog, he saved your life and he's been a great friend to us all. Remember - make it a head shot". The Raiders return to dump off passes to Garner because that's all they can remember that worked before while William Green constantly repeats "now THAT'S what I'm talking about".
PHI 21, DAL 23 Let's not Rush to a judgment here, but McNabb's most preferred target was Todd Pinkston who had nine passes and zero catches. Take away the Staley touchdown pass and McNabb only had 74 yards in the air. Next week Dallas goes to Detroit where Randall Williams plans on levitating above the heads of the defenders on his next kick return.
TB 35, WAS 13 After catching only one pass this season, Todd Yoder scores two touchdowns and Will Heller catches his first pass of his career for a touchdown even though he is really only an accountant with IBM that was wearing a uniform on a $50 bet with the guys from marketing. After working through the Yoders and Hellers, Brad Johnson even threw a score to Keyshawn.
HOU 17, TEN 38 Two teams predicated on defense combined for 792 passing yards and five touchdowns. After having only two catches for 16 yards in the past two games, Corey Bradford manages 127 yards. Steve McNair led the league with 421 passing yards even though 15 other quarterbacks had more passing attempts (27) and 12 other quarterbacks had more completions (18). Derrick Mason had not scored since week one so he had three touchdowns.
CHI 13, NO 20 First 38 minutes of the game featured three field goals even though no defenses were known to be attending the game. In a way, this was about the only game that offered a consistent performance from both teams.
NYG 6, NE 17 Over the past two games, Kerry Collins has thrown 102 passes for 66 completions, 590 yards and as many touchdowns as he scored during his bye week. Patriots are now winning games on a short Cloud TD and a fumble return by LB Matt Chatham. Against the Giants, that is more than enough.
BUF 3, NYJ 30 Since Moulds was not in the gang, picking on the little green kid resulted in bad timing since the Jets were finally tired of getting pushed around. We all knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, we just did not all figure that the runt of the AFC East would treat the Bills like the cow carcass in Rocky. Then again, Buffalo did fight back about as much.
PIT 14, DEN 17 Imagine Denver saying "well he got the job done, but he's no Plummer". Imagine Pittsburgh saying "he throws pretty good, but not touchdowns like Kordell did". Imagine saying "Hey - we got 45 rushing yards from Clinton, I guess we won!". Now open your eyes - it happened.
BAL 26, ARZ 18 Only with the Ravens can you throw for 75 yards in a game, kill off the entire value of a passing game and still get a slap on the back after a win - "hey kid, thanks for not getting in the way". The loss of Emmitt has led to a rushing game with Shipp and the presence of everyone else makes it a moot point anyway. Was Redman really that bad?
SF 19, SEA 20 Almost a mirror for halves - SEA comes out hot, runs well and gets two TDs. Then SF comes out, runs well and gets two TDs. Both Robinson and Owens get around 34 yards receiving because everyone was counting on them. Miss one little extra point and we all have to hear Theisman spend the rest of the game explaining what he thinks about it. Garcia has now rushed in three touchdowns himself versus only two touchdown catches by Owens. Coincidence? I think not, big guy.

Game-O-The-Week

Winner: Kansas City 40, Green Bay 34

Several good contenders - the Colts losing in overtime, Dallas winning on the first play of the game, Denver outlasting the Steelers in a game no one seemed very motivated to win and the Seahawks nipping the 49ers thanks to a bobbled extra point snap and a late fumble. In the end, you have to love an OT game with 74 points.

The Chiefs entered the fourth quarter trailing 31-14 as the announcers discussed the second coming of Favre and the return of the Lambeau lock on the scoreboard. The Packers stalled on their drive and punted to that Dante Hall kid who returned it 32 yards to the Packers 42-yard line. But he was tackled - whew!

Safely ahead by 17 points, the Packers watched three passes suddenly get the Chiefs down to the nine yard line and then Tony Richardson brought it to the one. On third and one from the one-yard line, Holmes finally scores a touchdown and the score rises to 21-31 with 12:25 left to play.

The Packers take the ball from their own 29-yard line after the kickoff and Ahman Green is getting so tired of gaining all those yards that they allow Najeh Davenport to also help out and within six plays, they reach the KC 32-yard line. Field goal distance at worst. Plus, after all, this is Lambeau. On second and six, Favre throws an incompletion. On third down, Favre tries to connect with Donald Driver but it's INTERCEPTED by the Chiefs and safety Jerome Woods runs it 79 yards back for a touchdown!

With about nine minutes left, the Packers only lead 31-28. By this time everyone has seen the Colts game last week. Can it happen... in Lambeau?

When the Packers get the ball back, suddenly nothing is working. Green gets thrown for a two yard loss, then Favre throws an incomplete to Green. Then Favre gets sacked and the Packers punt from their own 40-yard line. Fortunately, Josh Bidwell booms out a 60 yarder that goes into the endzone and Hall gets no return - whew!

The Packers know they must cool down and not worry. They are in the lead. They are at home. There is nothing to be concerned about other than first down when Tony Gonzalez catches a pass and runs 67 yards. DOH!

After Holmes loses a yard, Trent Green throws two incompletes to Morton and Kennison who are naturally tired by this time since it is sort of their first game this season. From the GB 17-yard line, Morten Andersen nails the 34 yard field goal to tie the game, 31-31. There is still five and a half minutes left.

Favre takes over on his 29-yard line and after hitting Driver for a six yard gain, he remembers the whole "Ahman can run" thing and gives two carries to Green which cover 16 and 23 yards. Green is now really tired and leaves the game so that Davenport can lose two yards and Favre can throw two incompletions. With only 2:48 left to play, Ryan Longwell kicks a 41 yard field goal to take the lead back 34-31. Whew!

The Packers catch another break when the kickoff angles to the ten yard line and Dante Hall decides that rather than follow the ball to the sideline and watch it go out of bounds to give KC possession at their 40-yard line, he would rather watch it roll almost all the way there before his mind tells him "I gotta be me" and pick up the ball and step out of bounds at the ten. It was a mistake but the bank of Dante has so much goodwill built up no one complains.

With 2:43 left, Trent Green mixes passes with Holmes runs to reach the GB 25-yard line with 55 seconds left to play. On the next play, Green throws it to Holmes for 12 and then two incompletions makes it only five seconds left in regulation. From the 13 yard-line, Andersen hits a 31 yard field goal to tie the game 34-34 as regulation expires.

In overtime, the Chiefs get the coin toss and accept the kickoff which ends with Dante Hall getting pushed out of bounds at the KC 29-yard line. Whew!

This is when Kansas City unveils a secret weapon named Priest Holmes. Green hands off to Holmes nine consecutive times for a gain of 41 yards to the Packers 33-yard line. Then an incompletion to Dante Hall means Morten Anderson gets to march on the field for the game winning 48 yard field goal. If it was not tipped at the line, it probably would have done just that. Instead, the Packers dodge a huge bullet and get the ball on their own 39-yard line. Whew!

On first down, playing it safe and using what works, the Packers wisely hand off to Ahman Green who dashes through the line and runs ten yards down the - HEY WAIT! HE FORGOT THE BALL! HE FUMBLED! Kansas City recovers on their own 49-yard line. DOH! Not whew! DOH!

Knowing that Priest Holmes has already had nine of the ten overtime plays, the Packers prepare for - WHOA! Kennison caught it down the right sideline! He's running and running and SCORES!

DOH! DOH! DOH!

It was a fitting game for a very odd week (as if there is ever a normal one).

It was a week that featured the stalwarts of the offense unable to hold on to the ball and too often at the worst possible moment. The Jets won big, the Colts lost in overtime and the Raiders are closing the pasture gate behind them. We got Ayanbadejo, Heller and Yoder as fantasy studs and more fumble touchdowns. The day started with a three second touchdown and ended with yet another ill-timed fumble that prevented making up for a botched extra point.

It's all football and never predictable. We take it too serious and not serious enough. Before long, baseball will be over and right before basketball starts we get the golden week of nothing but football.

Ahhhh...

Now get back to work...