history tells us anything, the Chiefs will be going to
the Superbowl. 8-0 teams usually do. Kansas City fans are
letting themselves believe, after being beat down for years
by the Schottenheimer "good enough for the playoffs
and out in the first round" years. Dante Hall went
on the Letterman show. The team has 2 players at least
being talked about as MVP's. The schedule for the rest
of the season looks like the Chiefs had incriminating pictures
of the schedule maker. Hell, I've aready spent the 18-1
payoff I have coming when the Chiefs hoist the Lombardi.
Of course there are those who will and already have
been saying that the Chiefs soft schedule is the "chief" reason
they are 8-0. "They haven't played anybody!!" I'm
already hearing it. Who exactly is "anybody" in
the NFL these days? In a league where the Arizona Cardinals
can jack up the Packers. The Texans can beat Miami. Rick
Mirer is still on somebody's roster. The mighty Buccaneers
are 1-3 at home, and the SuperBowl teams from last season
are a combined 6-10.
And now that the Chiefs are the only undefeated team
the "undefeated season" hype machine is already
in action. Ridiculous. Soon, the sorry old carcuses of
the '73 Miami Dolphins will litter the sidelines of Chiefs
games. I've heard some people say that if the Chiefs
go undefeated they should have an asterisk next to it
because of a weak schedule. Also ridiculous. If any team
could go a 16 game schedule in this parity infested league
unscathed that accomplishment would dwarf what the Dolphins
did back in the stone age. I'd love to see a team go
undefeated, but that possibility is about as likely as
going two weeks without officials screwing up an instant
Of course the Chiefs will have no cakewalk to the big
game. The Colts have passed every test so far, and have
the look of a team that is "for real". And
the Titans are rolling like a William Green doobie..
But what NFC team will present a challenge to any of
these AFC powers? ...................................
I saw Jerry Jones finally make an appearance on the
sidelines when thing weren't going well last Sunday.
I guess he thinks owning a football team is like running
a factory. Everybody stops goofing off when the big boss
shows up. Well, they won the game so maybe it works.
Maybe the players respect Jones and his deep pockets
and don't want to disgrace his presence by playing less
than perfect. Or maybe his hideously surgically altered
face frightens them into playing better. It's just one
of those mysteries.............
BIG KAHUNAS PICK OF THE WEEK: I guess I got what I deserved
last week I went against every solid betting principal
I know to be true and it bit me where it counts. I dared
to pick the Raiders to win on the road. Hopefully you
did not heed my advice. After I made that pick though
I was surprised to see how many people in the media and
in general agreed with the pick. Almost everyone I heard
talk about that game was picking the Raiders. So, as
it turned out not only was I wrong my "Big Kahuna" pick
was not seen as a stretch by the football community.
Last week was a perfect example of a tried and true
betting strategy known as the home underdog. The "Home
'dog" is, always has been, and probably always will
be the single most solid wager in football. Home underdogs
went 4-2 last week, with all four winning outright. Of
the two losers the Jets took the game to overtime before
losing as 2 1/2 point dogs on a field goal. And Atlanta
gave Philadelphia all they could handle losing by a TD.
Just a helpful hint from a guy who knows a dumb bet but
is not always smart enough to avoid one.
Ok, I'm 1-1 on the Big Kahuna pick if anyone is keeping
score. This week I see several interesting home dogs
on the board. (subliminal message). With this weeks pick
I will follow one of my betting rules while breaking
another. I like Carolina +3 at home against Tampa Bay.
The home dog as I have discussed is a great bet. That
rule I will follow. The rule that I am breaking is "NEVER
BET AGAINST THE STREAK". It doesn't matter whether
you are playing craps or betting football games, don't
bet against a streak. I guess technically I am not betting
against a streak, but more of a trend. The Buccaneers
have alternated wins and losses every week this season.
Following the pattern, this would be their week to win.
Not to mention the fact that Carolina got embarrassed
by Houston last week, it takes real big kahuna's to make
this pick: CAROLINA +3
WEEK 10 MISERY INDEX:
10) BUCCANEERS: The Superbowl champs are 1-3 at home.
Sapp keeps yapping. Keyshawn's lips keep flapping. And
I don't think 8-8 will get them to the promised land.
Is it my imagination or does every Superbowl champion
bite the big one the next season. Sapp is running out
of schtick to draw attention away from embarrassing losses.
9) PANTHERS: Losing a game to a team with Tony Banks
at QB is like losing a war to the French.
8) BROWNS: William Green has been firing up some green.
That explains a lot I guess. A lot of Cleveland fans
must be wondering if Butch Davis isn't doing a few bong
hits before kickoff.
7) REDSKINS: You just hate to see likeable fella's like
Dan Snyder and the love of his life Steve Spurrier suffer.
Uh, scratch that. Those are exactly the type of guys
you like to see suffer. At some point in the near future
you would think Dan Snyder would grasp the idea that
he knows nothing about building a franchise. He's in
over his head. Of course, anything over 5' 1" is
over his head. When the NFL awarded Arizona the 2008
Superbowl over Washington Dan Snyder stamped his little
feet and stormed out of the room. Richie Rich still throwing
his little temper tantrums. I love it. And Spurrier will
never be an NFL head coach. The guy threw a hissy fit
because Dan Snyder made him cut Danny Wuerffel. I smell
another huge coach contract buyout.
6) LIONS: The only thing more rock solid than the Lions
having a top ten draft pick every year, is the fact that
anytime I give up and cut a player from my fantasy team
he goes off the next week.
5) CHARGERS: When the starting QB is standing on the
sideline, with all his limbs still attached, and Doug
Flutie hits the field to provide a "spark" you
know things are not going well. Counting the "wildfire" game
played at Arizona this team has not played at home in
over a month. That is probably a good thing. Those San
Diego residents have suffered enough lately.
4) BUNGLES: Just when it looked like they were poised
to break away from the Misery Index along came the might
Arizona Cardinals. The Bungles got plenty of pub' last
week with people jumping on the bandwagon left and right.
As it often happens the hype was just that. Hype. The
wheels came off the bandwagon on a trip through the desert
and people are jumping off the bungle bandwagon like
Enron insiders dumping stocks. Welcome back Bungles!!
3) STEELERS: In last place in possibly the worst division
in the NFL. Tommy Maddox should have read the fine print
of the deal he signed with the devil last season. Apparently
it expired in January.
2) FALCONS: Mike Vick tried to weasel out of playing
at all this season, but Dan Reeves who would like to
continue receiving paychecks is begging for him to come
back, and fast! Meanwhile Deion Sanders is publicly campaigning
for Reeves job. That is kind of like screwing a guys
wife at the foot of his deathbed. Another class move
by Sanders. Deion thinks he can by-pass all that annoying
prerequisite training, like maybe being a DB coach for
a few years and then moving up the ladder. That's like
me saying, hey, I've been watching Sportscenter for years,
I think I'll drive up to Bristol and take Chris Berman's
job. As Deion would put it. "Dat crazy". Don't
get me wrong. I would love to see Deion fail miserably,
and I certainly would like to have the option of watching
any show he has ruined with his unbearable narcissistic
presence. But on the other hand reality tells me that
no owner in the league could possibly be dumb enough
to hire that reject from the pimp factory.
1) RAIDERS: It's sad when devastating wildfires are
only the second biggest disaster in the great state of
California. The players are old and disinterested. The
seemingly clueless coach has the disinterested loser
players blaming him. Think about this. The Raiders have
lost to both the Bears and the Lions. Let that sink in.
Only a half season removed from a Superbowl appearance,
right now they are the worst team in the league without
a doubt. Al Davis should consult with Johnny Cochran
about suing the whole team for theft of payroll checks
and fraud for presenting themselves as NFL caliber players.